Dear Bloggi,
I always have to think very hard for a topic to tell you, though I always feel like talking to you but don't want to bore you with not so interested talks.
This time I thought to share with you the process of marriage proposals & going through them. It will sound bit weird to you but I am sure I have some or one interesting tale to tell you. For writing this, I may have to bear the brunt of my mom's anger because according to her, girls do not discuss these things with others and I am sharing this with the world.
In Indian society especially in Punjabi households, the aunty community is very strong. Farther the relation that binds you with those aunties, more worried they are for you getting married, especially for girls. They always have one complaint from girl's mother, “why aren’t you getting your daughter married? it is the right age.” She is a girl, what will the world say & she may not even get a good match if she gets old. Doesn’t matter if she is your cousin’s friend mother’s sister, aunty will repeat the same question everytime they meet the girl's family or spot the girl herself in any family function. If their daughter’s are unmarried then they will say, saab sanjogo ki baat hai, jab time hoga ho jaega (everything is decided by God, when the right time will come, they will automatically get married). Dear Aunty, God is equally ours as it is yours, so God will take care regarding our marriage too.
You remain single for only once in your lifetime & get married for rest of your life, so why people are in hurry to lose their bachelorhood. You cannot stare & appreciate a handsome hunk, nor you can wish for him to flirt with you. After you are married, it is a crime to mingle with your single female friends. For them they are joking about boys in general & drag you & your husband in the joke. Single friends tease their married counterparts till death. Not fair…. :-(
When you are single, you are relaying on your parents for all the good things in life and it is their duty to provide the same. Once you are married, you can’t expect from them, now you are in their position & it is now your duty to provide all the best things in life to your future children. Days go far when you used to have Masti & no taking onus or responsibility of anything.
Anyway, I got diverted from the point for which I started this blog. We were talking about the ever concerned & worried aunties. Those worried aunties then bring some prospective grooms for you to have a meeting. A girl & a boy meeting for the first time to decide whether they are compatible enough for marriage is like visiting a boutique with the intention of window shopping & navigating through series of same looking dresses & thinking of making fun of foolish designs & suggesting your enemies to buy the same.
However for those aunties it is half battle won & if boy says yes then the engagement is fixed for the same day.
What if the girl says no??? That question doesn’t arise because if a girl says no then she has to suffer all the nagging from those faithful aunties, “tere ta zada nakhre ho rae hai, kya kami hai is sone munde mein (you through so much tantrums, what is wrong with this handsome boy)”. I wonder, what is the definition of being handsome for them.
For us, it is important that boy should talk sense & our intellect should match but for them nothing else is required if a girl & boy are meeting & boy says yes. For God sake, we are living in 21st century & still we have to think for a reason to say no to a boy for marriage. Isnt just a “No” would do?
Thank God for lovely & understanding parents. They have always left the final decision with me & kept quite when others scolded them for giving me leniency for everything.
One of those aunties’s had got a marriage proposal for me one fine day. They convinced my parents to atleast meet the boy once and fixed up a meeting at centrally located place. According to them, the guy was handsome (can’t comment on that because all faces made by God are beautiful), he is well educated (is graduate with BA pass degree), earning well (with call centre, evening shift), marriageable age (30 years, 6 years older than me) & from a respectable Sikh family. For me it’s not important to marry in same community but as our elders say, in arrange marriage, we can not go out of caste & religion. Objecting on him being in call centre the aunty replied, this is for the time being, after that he will join his family business, car accessories dealing :-\ While asking regarding his education level, aunty replied, why does anyone need education to run his family business? How convenient… :-|
So they came, his family met mine; we both didn’t speak anything except greeting each other’s parents (I didn’t know what should I say in such situations). His mother asked me few questions in front of everyone, what is your height? My inner voice said, I hope you are not blind & can see me standing. But I said subtly, its 4’11. She then asked how much you have studied, my inner voice: I studied more than your son, I am a postgraduate in vocational course & did economics honors in my graduation but I said did PG in Advertising & PR.
Then the most irksome question she can ever ask, what is your salary? My inner voice, are you planning to bank on my salary & buy your jewellery or things that you are luring for long time to buy, which your husband didn’t get it for you. However I said, right now its 2,60,000 per annum. Her eyebrows went up & she shouted 2 lakhs!!!! I clarified that it’s yearly & not monthly.
After this interview, even my nani (grandmother) got pissed off but we stayed there not to create an embarrassing situation. Then this mediator aunty sent both of us far from everyone to talk to each other. Every eye is on us & we have few seconds’ not even minutes to ask each other such questions that help us to decide if we want to spend our life together or not. F*** you guys!!!!
We went a bit far from the place where our parents were sitting. He was quite so I thought that it would be funny if both of us do not speak at all. So I asked him the same old question that my friends told me to ask every guy I meet for marriage purpose:
Me: What are your hobbies?
Thank God he opened his mouth & he replied wisely: it’s travelling.
Me: Nice. That means you must have travelled a lot in life.
He: Yes I have.
Me: Which all places?
He: I went to Amritsar, Golden Temple.
Me: Pause at first. Golden Temple??? Every Sikh would have visited Golden temple, even if their hobbies does not include travelling. So it is not even a place to mention. If your hobby is travelling then you must have travelled lot other unique places.
He: Wese to I have a car but I prefer to travel through metro.
I wasssss dazed to hear that. I asked: what? You mean travelling in metro is your hobby?
I thought bit weird but its fine; people can have such hobby.
Then I again enquired: How much do you travel in metro?
He: not much, from office to home & from home to office :-o
I was not in the position to ask anything else …so I kept quite
Then he started his interview session:
He asked in English: How taal (tall) are you?
Inside Me: u looked dumb & now you are deaf too. Didn’t you hear when your mommy dearest asked me this? Have you ever seen yourself in the mirror, if I was tall, I wouldn’t have even come to meet a short heighted person like you. Being a man short height could be a problem for you because you will only have to select girl shorter than you but I can get any man, tall or short (ofcourse, taller than me). Also you would have to face more problems to search a girl matching your IQ & your hobbies.
And gorgeous things come in small packages, your momy couldn’t teach you this because she is herself gifted with poor intelligence. Small things do come in small packages but same doesn’t apply for brains. Small brains are dangerous thing.
However I said loudly answering his query . . .
Me: 4’11
He started himself: I have great future plans. I am planning to settle abroad.
Me: Which country?
He: Anywhere but abroad
Me: Have you got a job somewhere?
He: No but I will apply. I like foreign
Me: Silence!!! Could I say anything else after hearing this?
Conclusion: Do I need to even conclude this conversation? Isn’t this obvious from the discussion itself?
But I will tell you what happened after that.
We went to our respective homes.
My family:
Mom – overemotional, God loving person
Dad – Quite observer & quick decision maker
Nani – Furious & ever optimistic. Earth is shrinking & she will ask me, ab kal office kese jaegi (How will you go to office tomorrow)?
My Bro, Angad – tempestuous & possessive for his sister
Masi – smart & straight forward
Ruchi Didi (Masi’s Daughter) – My ideal. Smart & Great guide
Rishi Bhaia (Masi’s son) – Ever funny & sarcastic wit
QnA with them
My family: How did you like him?
Me: Blurred everything what we spoke…
Mom, weeping: Hey Bhagwan, esa kyu hota hai mere bacho ke sath (Ohh God, why always my kids). Why you made us meet them at the first place?
Dad: Strange!!!
Angad: I didn’t even like his face. I wish to have given him a hardclobber
Nani: No, he is a good boy. He touched my feet while greeting. I didn’t like his mother though.
Masi: All men are idiots
Ruchi Didi: No need to take any shit from these kinds of people
Rishi Bhaia: Laughs. the boy is so cute & Nani!!! touched your feet??? hahhahaha. Even bholu (our driver) touch your feet daily. Would you make him your great son in law?
We didn’t give a call back to mediator aunty thinking that they will understand our answer. Next day, she called herself & informed that the guy’s family called her and said . . .
“The girl has an attitude problem & doesn’t look like a homely girl.”
Thank God, you saved me from rejecting a person.
Mom, weeping: Hey Bhagwan, mere bacho ki kismat mein kya likha hai? (Ohh God, what is there in my kid’s destiny) Why we ever met those people.
Dad: So Strange. Who are they to say such thing? Stupid people
Angad: I really want to bang my fist on that monkey’s face really hard this time
Nani: He can be improved. Tell him to meet me once. I will give him lecture
Masi: Do they want a homely girl? Marry a maid, idiots.
Ruchi Didi: Don’t worry. You deserve better!!!
Rishi Bhaia: Still laughing… hahahahahaha
