Saturday, June 5, 2010

Watching TV is still easy but watching "the breaks" in between...

Watching TV is still easy but watching "the breaks" in between...



I am not a very avid appreciator of things. I criticize things before taking into consideration that they also have a good side too. Many people have told me this and they are often true. This may be a way I express myself and want everything to be perfect.



I am a couch potato, fanatic for slothful life and can sit in front of TV for hours doing and watching nothing. Normally while watching a stupid serial people switch the channel at commercial breaks, but here I have made an effort not to touch the remote while a commercial break and switch as soon as the break ends.




There are few ads worth applauding and few really make you laugh at its idiocy. To begin with, I want to mention some idiotic ads, reason for our 30 sec laughter.





The king of idiotic ads, “Fair and Handsome – fairness cream for men”. The makers didn’t get worst jingle than this, “hi handsome, hi handsome”, just because the guy is fair. Who said that fair is beautiful? I like men with wheatish complexion and most girls will agree with me on this. Your true color is your own which is attractive.





This is such an irony that a highly successful and popular guy (especially among girls) like Shahrukh Khan has wheatish complexion and is endorsing a fairness cream. Didn’t the company officials told him to get fair before suggesting someone else in the ad. The cream was not able to make Shahrukh Khan fair and good that he didn't become one.





The ad of “fair and lovely” has even crossed the limits of inanity. If these ads were true then no one on this earth will have dark complexion. Even Africans would have to search for veil. These creams claim to make you as white as milk and not less than this. After becoming fair the model in the ad fulfills her desire of becoming successful (a model, an actress or an airhostess).




She was gloomy when she was dark. She waited for the magic to happen. After the magic is done by "Fair and Lovely" she gets the courage to go for auditions with a huge COLGATE smile and her new found fair colored skin. In this case I think it is important for her to join a personality development class rather than using a fairness cream because her confidence lied in her skin color and not her talent.



Thank God this is not true otherwise we would have missed to have super talented actresses like Rani Mukherjee, Bipasha Basu and Kajol to name a few.





Another in the line is “Tata Tea Ad”. In the ad it is shown that the tea really awakes you not from your sleep but enlighten you with your hidden qualities. A woman after having a sip of the tea suddenly realizes that she has the capabilities of becoming a catering manager.




Amazing na. . . Just like it happens in movies, a sudden wind from nowhere starts to blow her hair backwards. This means that she is enlightened now. A simple cup of tea changes her life. Then this tea should be offered to Shiv Sena and other corrupt politicians to enlighten them as well. Unemployed should also taste this tea, they will get jobs. Why didn't this brand come when I was in college? I was so damn confused about which field to select as a career option. A tea acting as an astrologer, a Guru. Does intangible things have such potential to change the world...Such powerful brands are coming these days. Mothers should feed this tea to her infant instead of milk. Good things should start early. They will be enlightened since their childhood.




One of the sanitary napkin ad shows a girl sleeping with a completely stiff posture. She can’t even move and sleep comfortably. Thank God this isn’t true either. It is being projected that before this brand came in market girls were leading a miserable life and didn’t even have chance to have a sound sleep. This product came as God’s angel and allowed us a better sleep at night. You aren’t making an ad for sleeping pills, are you?




Next in line and eagerly waiting for its turn is “AXE effect deo and perfume ad”. Hahahahahahahahaa.. This ad even claimed money back guarantee if after applying AXE deo girls do not feel attracted towards you. Some even claimed their money back but they didn’t get any. The ad actually forgot to tell the boys that before applying this deo, you need to take a proper bath. A stinky and sweaty person, no matter how many bottles of AXE perfume he has poured or chucked onto him, he will still smell yukkk.


And please give me a break, does the bottle have diamonds inside it that all society girls starts following the whacky guy. If they liked the perfume so much then they should visit a grocery store to buy it, not run behind the man.






Yet another is the ad of “Rupa Frontline”. The guy comes at the airport and stands in the security line and he is not wearing anything except undergarment. This implies that if you have purchased this brand then you are sure to have no money left to buy clothes or does it makes you so flamboyant. Flamboyancy for undergarments . . . hmm. . . doesn't work. . . Some things are good if hidden and not displayed.



No girl on this earth will be pulled towards you if you don’t have simple dressing sense, forget about being smart. The model in the ad should not be allowed to even board the plane. And to add to the misery, his UG says FRONTLINE which means that he should stand in front of the line while security checks. What logic, clap clap slap slap. I wonder what if in future the brands come by the name as “loocue”.



Still few of them left to be thrashed out, “Katrina Kaif’s ad of slice”. The tagline of the ad says, “Slice, Mango Pleasure, AAMSUTRA”. What is there in the brand to link it up with "SUTRA" thing? Please make me understand one thing, what happens when someone actually drinks it, because Katrina behaves as if she is drunk and someone insisting her to have Adam's forbidden fruit. But it is just a Mango drink, control your over enticement, Katrina.



The customers will have to buy the bottle of slice and not Katrina Kaif so here advertiser got confused what they are actually selling. On top of this, the visuals are also not appealing. The brand ambassador herself does not even have a full sip of the drink, she only has a drop of it and that too someone else gives her in a very tacky manner. Audiences don’t even see her gulping the drop. Few questions come to my mind, one being, is it safe to slurp this drink? Other question, is this drink only for boys?


For a simple mango drink the advertisers are luring the customer to buy it and not on the basis of its taste. I wonder what this drink all about…



It doesn’t mean that we don’t have good and thought provoking ads but as I told you, I like criticizing before appreciating. These are not the only idiotic ads in India, we still have zillions of them but good to leave the post here by reiterating a message, 'Ads are supposed to sell the product and idea does matter a lot. So use your BRAINS before using anything else.'